also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
