I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My hand turned me down
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
