ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
