You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
