I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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