Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
