Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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