I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
