i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
