I wanna bring you to show and tell
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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