Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
