I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
