I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
