Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
