Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
