I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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