mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
