in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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