Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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