She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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