the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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