no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
