Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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