i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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