he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
