Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
