I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
