ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
