goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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