quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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