I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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