Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
