He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
