she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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