Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this will be a night to untag.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
