What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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