Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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