I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize