Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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