Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want to have your abortion
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
