Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
