I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
