am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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