He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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