i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
