Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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