your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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