so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
