Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
