if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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