this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
