They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
