This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
