Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
