my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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