So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
