I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
