What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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