i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
