I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
