I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I fill condoms, not promises.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Randomize
