So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
