and you said cock pushups were impossible
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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